T MINUS 100

I have 98 days left of my year abroad. Except I don't. I'm spending 17 of those in England so I actually have 81 days left of my year abroad in Spain. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that this thing is almost over.

It genuinely feels like yesterday that I arrived when actually it was 27 weeks ago. 14 to go. Absolutely insane.

We all knew that I'd regret wishing away the days/weeks/months etc and I don't know, I don't think it's regret. It's just a shame that settling in coincided with winter which is always the worst time. I can't decide what to feel because I'm always homesick like always always always wanting to be in Northumberland and I'm away there for Easter so I'm excited but I feel bad being excited to leave Spain temporarily when I'm sad about leaving Spain forever. 

I'm very up and down at the minute anyway so to go through cycles of homesickness and year abroad regret and uni wistfulness doesn't help so I'm even more up and down. I'm just not sure of myself or how to feel or just anything.

Also finding it difficult to keep in touch with people back home. It's just hard because I want to be there but also I never want to be there. This is such a terrible blog post. I could say all of this in a seven word sentence. BLEH.

Laters.