21 LIFE LESSONS

An alternate title for this post could be "the cringiest list ever written on the internet". I don't really care, chica likes a little cheese. For a long time I've been wanting to get back into blogging, since I read so many of other people's, so here we go. Last week I turned 21 and for some reason it still holds significance as a 'big birthday' because it supposedly means the beginning of adulthood. I mean I moved to Norwich on my own in 2012 and to Alicante on my own in 2014, but no, it was turning 21 in 2015 which made me a fully fledged adult. What a load of bollocks. 


ANYWAY.
I quite like being 21. 20 was a tough year but all seems rosy right now. Well, at least manageable. That's really all I can ask for. But today I want to write a wee list of things I've learned in my 21 years living on the planet. By no means is it the most profound or even helpful list of things for you to read, but it's a nice little positive thing for me to write and enjoy. Hope you do too.

1 - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

I mean I couldn't not start the cringiest list of all time with the cringiest statement of all time, could I? It's true though. Maybe not even believing, but thinking positively about yourself. For such a long time I didn't seek help for whatever problems I was going for because I just didn't believe I was worthy of getting help from other people. I wouldn't see friends or family because I couldn't understand why they'd want to spend time with me. Then there's daft stuff like not putting effort into work or revising because I thought I'd do shite anyway so what would be the point? Or downplaying stuff that had gone well because it was probably just a fluke. It's such a daft mindset! There's this thing in Britain about being self-deprecating and like yeah fine but not to the extent where you think you're a ball of poo.

2 - FAMILY IS NUMBER ONE

I totally get there are people who can't live by this because their family is rubbish or they don't get along with them at all. I am in that club too, just a little bit. But the rest of my family are bloody ace and I am very lucky to have such a close relationship with my nuclear family, all of my grandparents, my auntie and cousins, my new siblings & niblings (that supposedly means nieces and nephews) (even if it doesn't I bloody love the word), my extended family. I am surrounded by glorious people who are more annoying than you could ever imagine. Also they won't let me get a puppy. But they're okay otherwise. 

3 - GO TO THE BLOODY DOCTORS

Okay well my last two blog posts explain this one don't they. It's taken me a while to realise that going to the doctors really isn't scary. I mean it doesn't stop me experiencing ridiculous anxiety when it comes to going but that's because I have anxiety anyway...

4 - IT'S OKAY TO BE SAD

Following from the last one really. Sadness is a real human emotion and it's okay to feel that way for a period of time but don't let your whole life be sad. 

5 - BUY GOOD QUALITY SHOES

This has been said to me my entire life and I always ignored it. Why would I buy a pair of trainers for £60 when I can get plimsolls from Primark for £3? Because Katy, you ended up needing operations on your toes because the cheap shoes ruined them. Also good quality shoes look and feel nicer? Like, why did I insist on Primark for so long? Oh youth.

6 - CONCERT TICKETS ARE ALWAYS WORTH IT

I feel like this is what will be written on my headstone. There has never been a time I have regretted buying a gig ticket. I think it's important for people to find that one thing that makes them super super happy and for me, that's gigs. More specifically, Robbie Williams gigs. I know I bang on about him AAAAAAALL THE TIME but it's because those two hours spent in his presence are two hours of utter joy. But the months beforehand are full of excitement. And the months after are full of happy memories. Nothing is wrong. Yeah okay, maybe I do spend too much on the 'better' tickets and I like to go to multiple gigs per tour which probably isn't necessary, but it is always worth it for me and I will not apologise for that.

7 - EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER WITH GLITTER

I am a complete glitter advocate. My Mam makes cards and the best ones are always covered in glitter. I have glittery shoes and a glittery cat hair band and a glittery photo frame which houses a photo of my best pals and they all make me so happy.

8 - PEOPLE EXPRESS THEIR LOVE IN DIFFERENT WAYS

Man, did this take me a while to wrap my head around. Basically, when I want to let someone know I love them and I'm thinking of them I like to write a big long letter or email saying all the great things about them and why I think they're wonderful and just getting all my love down on paper. I feel like using the written word is easier for me than to try and convey those feelings in person or with a gift or something like that. But then other people show it in different ways or don't quite get how much I'm trying to say because obviously they don't process feelings in that way. Obviously it's a good thing that we're not all the same but sometimes my soppy slushy emails have come off like I'm insane because it arrived in their inbox at 3am. 

9 - FRIENDS WON'T FORGET YOU IF YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR A FEW DAYS

Right so I moved to Spain and my depression/anxiety hit its absolute peak and I was just distraught at being separated from pals back home so I'd send ridiculous random messages every day that didn't mean anything or deserve a reply but when I didn't get a reply I'd be all sad and end up further in my downward spiral and it was all very bad but I'm learning and realising that people remember who I am and still care even if it's been a while. I'd really like for my friendships not to be virtual anymore because it just makes me sad.

10 - SAVE YOUR BLOODY MONEY

Let's not pretend that I'm any good at this, even now. I am shocking at handling my money. I know it's important to save it but at the same time I could be hit by a bus tomorrow soooooo yes I will buy that top from Asos. 

11 - STOP OWNING SO MANY THINGS

There is part of me that is very sentimental but the majority of my brain likes everything to look clean and tidy and minimal and I HATE there being stuff everywhere. It just winds me up. I sent 200 books to the charity shop last year because it was unnecessary for me to have that many! Part of this probably comes from the fact my life has been in boxes and suitcases pretty much constantly for the last three years. I've learnt what stuff I actually need in my day to day life and most of the tat isn't needed.

12 - RUNNING AND MEDITATION ARE CLICHÉS FOR HAPPINESS FOR A REASON

This summer I was not on the wagon I was on in Alicante at the beginning of the year, where I was meditation every day and running three times a week and I can't deny I was so much happier when I was doing that. They just keep my head so clear and free and happy and I really need to get back into that. I'm hoping once I move to Norwich again next week I can get myself a daily/weekly routine sorted out which includes both of these. 

13 - NOWHERE IS BETTER THAN THE NORTH EAST

Nothing anyone could say to me would sway me from this opinion. There is magic in the air up here and I just bloody love it. I always said I never wanted to be stuck here and wanted to live somewhere exotic but really I want a house with views of the North Sea and will not stop until I get it.

14 - DO NOT BLEACH YOUR HAIR

I cannot be more serious. Nothing good can come from this. IT MAKES YOUR HAIR FEEL LIKE STRAW. And it takes bloody years to grow out. I've been highlighting my hair since I was about 13 and decided just over a year ago to grow the colour out and my hair feels the healthiest and I like the colour the most I have for a long long time. Lesson learned.

15 - WRITING CAN BE VERY THERAPEUTIC BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO BALANCE HOW PUBLIC YOU MAKE IT

Lord knows how much bother I've gotten into with what I've said online in the past. From myspace "moan blogs" to angry tweets and emotional outpours on Tumblr. It's just not worth it. I know more than anyone that shouting into the void can be so helpful but it's so important to remember that a lot of the voids you're shouting into actually have an audience on the other side.

16 - PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT

This is something I feel v strongly about. I am my own number one and it is important that my mental health is okay before trying to sort out someone else. I'm not saying don't be there for other people, but don't make your life be about somebody else. 

17 - UNSUBSCRIBE FROM MAILING LISTS

A clean inbox is a clean mind. I used to wake up to 20 emails from daft places like Student Beans and Tesco and New Look and Groupon and it set my day up the wrong way. Plus this way you don't have to scroll through the rubbish to find the stuff you actually need to read. And also you're less likely to waste money on the offers and discount that never save you any money anyway. 

18 - THERE IS SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH STATIONERY

I'm as shocked as you are, but it's true. You really only need one notepad and a few pens. And a diary. And then maybe another notebook. And some coloured pens for emphasis. And highlighters!
Right so I've not quite managed this but I'm trying.

19 - DOCUMENTING YOUR LIFE IS A GOOD THING

Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't tweet when you're happy and share things on Facebook to cheer your friends up and post photos of your dinner on instagram because I bet all these old fogies criticising would love to have a record of their lives from way back when so post what you wanna post.

20 - GOOD FRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE

I have said it before and will say it again and again forever more but I have some of the most amazing people around me that I am lucky enough to call my friends and it hurts me that I can't have them all live with me in the various places I move to but I love em heaps and I can't wait to move to Norwich to be reunited with a lot of them and feel all the love and probably cry everywhere because that is what I do.

21 - KEEP YOURSELF HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND IT'LL ALL BE OKAY

That's all we can really do anyways. 

Enough of the cheese, hope you're all well. MUCH LOVE XXXXXXXX
or hasta luego, whatever