LITTLE DIPS

I've been back in Spain, what, four(?) weeks now and can honestly say they've been some of my happiest weeks. It's not that anything that amazing has happened, it's just a long time in a very very long time I've felt consistently happy for a long period of time.


I think the sun helps. It's still cold but being outside when it's nice and bright makes a hell of a difference to the grey skies of the UK. I'm very much looking forward to the warm weather that Spain is famous for - I think that should be March-April time? It'll be nice not to have to wear a blanket around the house and not get hypothermia when I put my feet in the sea. I want it to feel like the warm Mediterranean and not the North Sea.

Running also helps. It's really annoying because people always told me running was good for you and I ignored them because I didn't think I could do it but I can. I know it works because I had a few days last week where I felt really really really bad due to stuff out of my control back home and it all fell on top of me and I was sad for two days but then I went for a run and it all changed. My mind was cleared and the fresh air was amazing and the pride of finishing the run made me feel so much better. I know I am in no way "good" at running but it gives me half an hour where I think of nothing. Not being homesick or worried or stressed or bored for half an hour is such a blessing. 

I think though that the fact I have been so consistently happy for so long made those two low days worse. I stopped writing this post here a week ago and this weekend have felt a bit shitty. The contrast between happy and not happy is very noticeable. It's not that I'm sad I just feel like nothing. I am too tired to feel happy or sad or angry or homesick. I just can't be bothered. I think it's just hormonal though. I've had a little solo weekend without anyone around and it's been nice but I don't think I should do it again. I have fab pals here so I should see them instead of sleeping all weekend.

Here's to this little dip in mood being over and to starting the week in a good place. It will be my first week on timetable where I (should hopefully) actually go to all of the classes that I'm allowed to go to. Who knows. When I started writing this post a week ago I fully intended it to be dead positive about how I'm happy in Spain and bla bla but finishing it whilst in a less than stellar mood kind of ruins that. Oh well, it's only my brother that reads this anyway!

Hasta luego

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