FOOD

So the other day I was sat in my seminar and not really listening (bad student, very very bad) and was doodling on my paper. Next thing I know, it’s been five minutes and I look down to see the results of my daydream. It was a list of all the English food that I miss. Spain just does not compare. Since it’s now less than a week (!!!) until I’m home, I thought I’d write what I wrote down and torture myself that little bit more.

Starting with places to go and eat out, I miss Nando’s. Obviously I miss Nando’s. It’s just so simple and easy and I know what I like and the chicken is always cooked perfectly and their chips are really good and just oh man. I wish it were in Spain. I miss Gregg’s – you can take a girl out of the north and all that. Their sausage rolls are just incredible; I can’t fault them at all. They’re nice hot and even nicer cooled down a bit. Also I miss their iced splits and when I was on the website the other day (I know, that’s how bad it is) I noticed that iced splits aren’t listed on there. And when I was in Norwich they didn’t have them in either. I really hope they’ve always been a northern product and are only stocked at home, like the faithful stottie. I also miss Wetherspoon’s breakfasts. Also I want chicken wings from the Hungry Horse. Quick message to my brother (who I know is reading this), we are going there over crimbo. I need me some chicken wings.

Then takeaways. Oh lord. Does the fact that my brother is driving us from the airport to our Chinese takeaway convey how good the Chinese is? I really hope it does. I don’t think the Chinese we go to is even the most popular in our town (shout out to Klondyke in Crammy) but it should be. John just makes the best food. It’s so bad that I’m on first name terms with the guy who owns the place… I don’t care; he knows I’m home whenever Mam or Howie order my usual. I am ridiculous, I know. It’s just my signal that I’m home. That, and making the house a tip. I also miss getting bright ruby red chicken tikka masala. It’s so English and I love it. Also, chips from the Brockwell, oh my word they are so good. Best chip shop in the land, that one. Their kebab wraps are fab too. Totally disgusting when you think of what they’re made of, but so so tasty. There are tons of ‘kebap’ shops over here but it’s not the same.

I feel like all I’ve talked about is unhealthy crap. I promise that’s not all I’m craving! But it’s what comes to mind. I really really really miss the little bags of mixed vegetables that Tesco do. It’s the perfect portion size and so easy to cook because you can just stick it in the microwave or chuck it in the steamer. I found an equivalent here in Mercadona but the broccoli went weird and the packet was mainly cauliflower (ew) and they didn’t have any baby sweetcorn. First world problems. All the vegetables over here look a bit weird and dangerous and I don’t trust them. Also during the week I don’t really have time after uni to prepare loads of veg like peeling and chopping and waiting for water to boil bla la bla. I did recently discover that Alcampo stock packets of frozen veg though, and have gotten through about 2kg of frozen broccoli, which was v nice. I think after Christmas I will try their garlic spinach mix and carrot/pea combo. I feel less guilty about my meals as soon as I stick some green stuff in. I made a curry the other day and shoved some broccoli in and it was instantly healthier. Also it meant I had enough for two portions and it did kind of taste better. I feel like such an adult, voluntarily putting veg on my plate.

Speaking of frozen things, I miss anything that can be cooked in an oven. We have one in our apartment but it doesn’t work and I don’t know if it ever has or if it can be fixed but there ain’t no way I’m phoning an engineer. I miss Birdseye potato waffles. There will never be a time where potato waffles don’t remind me of first year living in uni halls. I don’t think there was ever a point our freezer didn’t have at least one waffle. God I miss waffles. And turkey dinosaurs. I sound like such a child but they’re so good. They need to be crispy and crunch though, there’s no point in eating a soggy dinosaur. Turkey dinosaurs were Cameron and I’s staple throughout second year. I hope when I come back after Christmas our oven will be magically fixed and then I can make pizza because they do not work in the microwave (unless it’s a tiny Chicago town) and I feel like I crave ham and pineapple pizza at least twice a week. Maybe next time we get a Telepizza I’ll see if they do ham and pineapple. To anyone who doesn’t like pineapple on pizza, shame on you. It’s the best.

This is a silly one but I really miss baked beans. It’s silly because I eat beans here too. Heinz beans, in fact. I shouldn’t miss them at all but I do. They’re just not the same. I think it might be because I normally eat beans with sausages and I don’t think Spain even knows what real sausages are. I cannot wait until I can buy a packet of Cumberland sausages from Tesco and grill them and accompany them with (Branston) beans and potato waffles and shitloads of Heinz tomato sauce (which also tastes different here, it’s sweeter) and be joyful in my English meal.

CADBURY CHOCOLATE. I was warned about this and never took it seriously. I literally can’t find it anywhere. I’ve been told that Dealz (Spanish Poundland) sells it but I can’t find that either. There’s just something so good about Cadbury chocolate. I want a twirl so bad. I was gutted when I couldn’t have a Cadbury advent calendar but then I bought my Kinder one and I have now discovered my love for Kinder Bueno. Especially white ones. My pal Chelsea used to eat them all the time in first year and whenever I bought her a treat it would be a white Bueno and I just didn’t understand. I always stayed away from them because I thought they had real nuts in but they don’t and I have been missing out for too long. Chelsea, why didn’t you force me into it sooner?! I also miss Galaxy caramel and Cadbury creme egg but luckily nobody at home can have creme eggs yet either.

Other random little bits I miss include: pickled onion Monster Munch, salt and vinegar Squares, Sharwood’s Korma sauce (they only sell Sharwood’s tikka masala or Patak’s Korma here, which are both awful), scotch eggs, pink lady apples (I can never find nice ones), and garlic bread. I can’t even tell you how much I wish garlic bread were a thing here. I mean they have toasted bread and sometimes put alioli on or a different kind of garlic mush but it’s not real. I’m talking a garlic baguette where you cook it but are too keen and take it out of the oven but the butter is still frozen, or Nando’s version where I tend to get one burnt slice and one uncooked slice. Or the Asda flatbread one with mozzarella on. OH MY GOD. Asda create your own pizza. I’m going to let you in on my CYO technique to teach you how to make the best pizza. 10” stuffed crust (obv), tomato base, grated cheese, pretty standard. Toppings: plain chicken, jalapeño, pineapple and mozzarella discs. You’re welcome.

Mainly I just miss someone else cooking for me. Most of the time here I can’t think of what to make so I just rotate though my very limited cycle of meals – pesto pasta with chicken, chicken curry (now with broccoli), jacket potato and beans, steak and gravy with instant mash potato and any vegetables I can find, chicken soup, chorizo sandwich. Most of the time for lunch I just have leftovers from the night before, or a 0,30€ bread bun from Mercadona. We finally worked out the bread bun/roll debate the other day – what do you put your burger in? A bread bun. Northerners, we’ve been saying it right this whole time.

Well, I think this was suitably torturous. Only one more week to go!

Until next time, hasta luego.

twitter | tumblr | instagram | facebook | pinterest | goodreads | spotify | youtube